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Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
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12:45 am
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so i read this news article about NASA planning to crash a space craft into the moon. the explosion will be visible from the earth and create a 17 deep foot crater. doesn't that seem scary? isn't the moon is like... important to a bajillion religions since like a billion years ago? i think Unicef should claim the moon as a world heritage site so that the americans can't explode it anymore. fucking arrogant ass americans thinking they own the moon.
and then:
okay so every monday and wednesday i wait outside my film class for half an hour before it starts and every day there is this girl that talks to her dumb guy friend in the hallway. previously i have heard such gems from her that she has given up all secular music, but will allow it if it is contained on a cd with at least one God song.
today she was talking about easter, which of course lead to the passion of the christ movie. apparently it was the beatings that really bothered her, not the "crucification". she also called the cat of nine tails the "whip with the things on the end". i wish she would leave her youth group and her made up words out of my hallway.
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| Monday, January 23rd, 2006
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11:01 pm
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this is how straight guys in the library answer their phones:
sup... s'goinon
IS THAT EVEN ENGLISH??
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 17th, 2005
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1:32 am - pity party
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oh my gosh, listen to all this
first i got food poisoning or something and threw up last friday for the first time in like... 11 years
then i had the worst headache ever last night
then i was cooking today and this wineglass fell and i tried to catch it but instead i just smashed it and cut my hand open and had to go to the emergency room and get stitches and a tetanus shot. jawuan took some pretty cool pictures of it, like while the doctor was sewing up my hand and it was bleeding everywhere. bleeding everywhere looks pretty cool. if someone tells me a place to post them online i will put them on here, but right now i am tired and don't feel like figuring it out.
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| Thursday, December 8th, 2005
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11:22 pm
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i went to the swedish christmas party today and it was great. although i did find the pickled herring kind of weird. i mean, it really was pickled! like in vinegar! fish pickle!
and then i came home and i got an email that my scandinavian studies application was accepted. i am the first person in the history of the university of michigan to major in scandinavian studies. yay for being a pioneer.
ps i drank wine again tonight. glögg actually. glögg glögg glögg.
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| Friday, December 2nd, 2005
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3:13 pm - yes diana, i'm talking about my feelings again
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i think all this messed up stuff with älskare, pojkvänner, trekanter, and other things that I'll only say in Swedish, i think all of it wouldn't bother me so much if i didn't isolate myself all the time. there are people i could be hanging out with, but instead i am sitting in my room drinking milk out of a salsa jar.
quit letting me! it is not healthy. i'm not even living in flint anymore, but sometimes it seems like a dark sad flint cloud has followed me wherever i go.
so yeah... i'm gunna hang out with you. beware.
ps. i drank wine tonight can you believe it
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| Sunday, November 27th, 2005
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11:03 pm
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someone kick me in the face and make me do my homework. emotions are crazy illogical.
current mood: ridiculous
current music: håkan hellström - brännö serenad
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| Friday, November 4th, 2005
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10:20 pm
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| Monday, August 8th, 2005
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12:40 pm
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peter jennings is dead! why isn't everyone writing about this? he's peter jennings! i feel like he should be on the news announcing his own death.
i thought it was funny how everyone thought that chinese monastic style cooking was something useful. it's not. i just like to say things that sound fancy. they don't use onions or garlic or really any spices at all. and it's vegetarian. it's just tofu and vegetables. people would pay not to eat it.
i'm coming home this weekend. yay! some of the monks here seem to be getting cranky anyway. after i got done cleaning up after breakfast yesterday, i got kind of lazy and didn't clean the oatmeal out of the food trap in the sink. and then i left some bottles on the floor next to the sink because some of the monks put them there, and i was all sassy like, i ain't their mother, they can take those to the recycling themselves, lazy asses. so then, i'm on the computer in my office and this one texan monk opens the door without knocking and is like:
When you finish what your doing on there, can you come finish cleaning up the kitchen? *slam*
it was a tad too sarcastic for me. and it was clean! there was just like a teaspoon of oatmeal and some bottles that had been there for like a week. i didn't even know what he was talking about at first. and i had been in the kitchen for 2 hours already. oh well, sometimes i forget that this is actually a job and that they are paying me. but still, go take a nap, cranky.
okay the end
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| Monday, August 1st, 2005
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7:25 pm
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monastery life is harder than you'd think, i guess.
a lot of the things that sound bad end up not being a big deal, and things that sound like not a big deal end up being hard to live with.
like a lot of people i know thought that living without entertainment, like tv, music, movies, going out, etc. sounded like death. and the getting up at 3:30 am sounded pretty bad too. but those are pretty easy, really, and easy to adjust to.
but the hardest part is the loneliness and isolation. i thought, oh i'll be fine being alone, i mean, i've been called a recluse before, i know how this stuff works. but it's easy to be a 'recluse' when you lived in a house with 22 other people. here it's just me and 5 monks who really don't even speak to me unless i've done something wrong. they're very nice, but busy and never talk. there are two nuns, but they only appear around meal time, and they are really nice and funny but always have to run away because they aren't supposed to talk to boys. so yeah. living every day having only spoken a few words the whole day is pretty weird. and not fun.
and the other thing that i didn't think would be a big deal was the schedule. with breakfast, lunch, morning and evening liturgy, i really don't have that much time. i have small blocks of time. in the morning i have a 2 hour break, then after lunch i have a 4 hour break, then after evening liturgy i have about a 2-3 hour break. 7 days a week. at least with school there's some variety of schedule and longer breaks and leaving the house.
and then the abstaining from all forms of sexual activity is going to drive me insane. you don't know how hard it is to fall asleep when nothin's been going on down there for over 10 days. and why would you? who would ever do that to themselves?
some things are good though. cooking is kind of fun even though it's exhausting. and i'm learning to cook chinese monastery style, for what that's worth. and on the weekends a lot of lay people come and make lunch and there are buddhist lectures and classes. and free food and rent and internet and 800 dollars a month salary to start. and my own bathroom and shower (with a bathtub). and my own office. and the chance to live with and be able to ask questions to bhikkhu bodhi, one of the most famous scholar monks in the world (he's even given a speech to the united nations). and access to the lay and monastic libraries. and there's lots of wild life like giant herds of dear, crows, groundhogs, wild turkeys, bears, racoons. and free brain surgery.
but still, it's a bit hard living here and i think i'm going to come back and go to school. but they don't really know that yet. but i said i'd try it for two weeks at least. so this friday will be two weeks and then i'm going to have to mention to them that i wont be staying forever to be the cook. that will probably make them sad and will be scary, but oh well. or something. i dunno.
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| Thursday, July 21st, 2005
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12:45 am - announcement!
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Hello to the three people the read my livejournal and already know this.
This friday, July 22, I am leaving Michigan and driving to Bodhi Monastery in New Jersey. I will be trying out living in the monastery and being the resident cook. If I like it, then I will be dropping out of college and continuing to live there for an indefinite period of time. If I don't like it so much, then I will be coming back and attending school in Ann Arbor. But the plan is not to come back.
Here's the monastery's website if anyone is interested or needs to contact me by mail or phone:
http://bodhimonastery.net/main.html
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
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1:05 am
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so i finally put the computer on a real desk instead of on that little low table. that means no more lying in bed typing on the computer. this sucks. but i was starting to get neck problems and i think it was giving me heartburn from lying flat too much.
now that i'm sitting upright, i feel more motivated to go look for a job. i'm halfway to standing up! so i'll start doing that monday. i meant to go look for a job wayyy before this, but somehow nearly a month has passed since i got out of school. i can't believe i've been here for a month, lying on the mattress and being on the computer all day like some sort of jabba the hut. that will make you crazy if you do that enough. AND fat. and everyone knows i've had enough of both of those this year.
tomorrow i'm going to the lao temple for vesak. yay buddha's birth, death, and enlightenment day. i'm excited to see all the lao people all dressed up in their shiny silk dresses and sashes and i'm excited to eat fun things out of little bowls. i think there are gong to be a lot of people there. but i have to get up at 7 which is in like 6 hours and i'm not used to going to bed until around 5. suck.
i just watched a horror movie from the 80s that had hugh grant in it called 'the lair of the white worm'. he was the descendent of a dragon slayer. hugh grant sucks. it was so bad.
but then i watched a movie at chris's house called 'forbidden zone', which is one of the most amazing movies i have ever seen.
one word. susan b. 'frenchy' hercules.
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| Monday, May 9th, 2005
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9:30 pm
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so i didn't get that job in ann arbor for july and august. they told me i'm welcome to come volunteer there though. yeah well you're welcome to come eat shit.
now what am i gunna do... i'm already going crazy here. i feel like i'm in solitary confinement. my friend that i've known for 12 years here doesn't seem to want to talk to me, see me, or have anything to do with me. and hanging out with my old people friends somehow makes me feel even more isolated on the inside. if chris and steven weren't here, i think... i don't know! i think my brain would hemorrhage.
i can't imagine 3 and a half more months of this. just sitting on my mattress alone for 12 hours a day staring at the computer, filled with a weird mix of boredom, desperation, and undirected rage. i'd start knitting or something, but i feel like i'd break the needles in half. i don't know how housewives do it. what a horrible life they must have.
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| Monday, April 18th, 2005
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9:55 pm
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i just spent like 40 minutes taking tests on okay cupid at the library instead of writing a paper
why does every post i ever write have to do with the library
my throat hurts
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 16th, 2005
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11:01 pm
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i was just looking at the holy shit iäm awkward facebook group and i read the funniest thing ever (on the facebook...)
Posted at 7:47pm April 7th, 2005.
Alyssa Domzal writes "So I went to City Hall for a Planning Commission meeting, and was talking to this architect and this developer before I left. I went down the first elevator I saw...and it took me to the nuclear fallout shelter. The words "nuclear fallout shelter" were on the wall, and the three doors I saw led me to 1. a vacuum cleaner, 2. the electric switchboard for all of City Hall, and 3. the garage where they keep the cop cars. I realized this was not the BEST place for me to be, got back on the elevator, saw the same developer and architect, and said loudly "OH, THAT'S WHERE THE NUCLEAR FALLOUT SHELTER IS. I WAS WONDERING!" It was very awkward. They laughed to my face. "
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9:59 pm
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oh my god i forgot how much i hate duderstat
these people are so loud
DUDE.... DUDE....
ALRIGHT BROTHAS, GOOD LUCK (spoken by a white guy to other white guys of course)
oh my god the person behind me is probably the most annoying person that has ever existed. he has been on his cellphone for probably half an hour, and he is having the most boring conversation in the most annoying low monotone dull voice i have ever heard about things that aren't even exciting enough to write down.
yeah.....eight month lease.............yeah......yeah.....
oh my god now he just got on the phone with another person
sorry......i was on the phone with my dad...............he was like are your grades a's.................and i was like no because they're not......i mean...........we're at the duderstat....................
engineering students are the most annoying people i have ever met in my whole life
down a few computers from me someone has brought his parents to meet his friends IN THE FUCKING COMPUTER LAB
these people are such losers oh my god just let me do my swedish homework without hearing you or your loud parents
i'm sure they are very nice parents. the mom looks pretty nice. just get the hell out of here.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. NOPE!
THERE WAS SOMETHING I WAS GUNNA TELL YOU BUT I CANT REMEMBER WHAT IT IS
oh my god that kid has called a third person. and now oh my god the person next to him is on the phone too. i wonder if they were like DUDE LETS ALL GO TO THE LIBRARY TOGETHER AND TALK ON OUR CELLPHONES WHILE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER.
SUP MAN! BWAHAHAHAHAH!!
NO WAY! NO WAY! OH RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT YEAH YEAH YEAH
THAT'S TIGHT HA! OH MY GOD
OHHHHHH YOUR GRANDPARETNS. THATS AWESOME! THAT'S NICE MAN. THAT'S NICE THAT YOU CAN SEE YOUR GRANDPARENTS. WHERE DO THEY LIVE? OH COOL. WHERE AT?
awwwww there was just something cute though. this asian boy just came up to his friend and QUIETLY said in a heavy accent...
what is.... density....of....steel?
okay i'm done
or i was done until i just heard this:
I think she'd rather talk about circumstision and ass wiping than computers because SHES THAT WEIRD!
yeah, i didn't spell that wrong. that's how he said it. he thinks it is circumstision. what a stupid idiot. okay now i'm really done.
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| Saturday, April 9th, 2005
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9:22 pm
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oh my god people in here are SO loud
where am i... the duderstat... commons
something
don't come here
it's loud and makes me feel like i'm in the cafeteria in high school and i can even hear someones music
"hey alfred
do you have a gmail account?
yeah. it's fucked398.
HAHAHA seriously?
yeah, the passwords like ihateblahblahblahblah"
i just heard that. true story. i'll try to write down more studid things i hear people say because oh my god as i was typing this, this person just walked by picking his nose. it was weird. at least sit down and do that.
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| Thursday, April 7th, 2005
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9:08 pm
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i just got a funny email, and even though everyone at michigan got it, it's still funny enough to post:
Dear Students:
Two items of concern have come to our attention that we thought worth sharing with you.
A news reporter has made us aware of claims by an individual producing pornographic videos that he has been advertising for U-M students to participate, and has been shooting videotape of sexual acts in campus facilities such as bathrooms, residence halls rooms, classrooms and lounges. Although we do not have any evidence that his claims are true, we are concerned that this individual may be targeting U-M students for his activities.
Although students age 18 or older can make their own decisions about whether to allow themselves to be videotaped, conducting such an activity in campus facilities would be a serious violation of our policies. More importantly, we are disturbed by the element of exploitation that accompanies this behavior. The invitation to appear in a film may feel momentarily exciting and empowering; but those decisions may ultimately prove damaging to the participant in ways he or she may not immediately be able to foresee. Our Sexual Assault Crisis Line, for example, periodically receives calls from people who have been videotaped in sexual acts in whatever context, and then later they discover the images have been shared via the Internet and are readily available to acquaintances, coworkers, etc. Their sense of violation can be profound, and the effects lasting.
In fact, the Internet is a tool that can create an instant sense of community and enable the widespread sharing of information in ways that were never before possible. Our second concern has to do with a very popular website for college students called The Facebook. Many of our students register there to identify other students with similar interests. I want to encourage you to think carefully about what personal or contact information you post to this or any other website. These public sites can be a fun and effective tool for creating community, but they can also expose you to individuals who may take advantage of your personal or contact information, sometimes in harmful ways.
We are always happy to talk with individual students and student groups who have questions or concerns about these issues. If you would like to do so, contact the Dean of Students Office at 764-7420.
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| Monday, April 4th, 2005
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11:37 pm - oh help me saint jude
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so i've been in the library since 7:30 trying to figure out what to do for my mexican culture presentation and i scanned all these cool pictures of the virgin of guadalupe for like an hour or two and then my teacher told me some other people were already doing that topic. well fine, but they aren't going to find nearly as cool pictures as i did because i have the best picture book in ann arbor. so fine, let them suck. they will suck and i will laugh at them. i was even going to light candles during my presentation and bring in my virgin of guadalupe clock and poster and comforter. but no, they'll just suck because everyone in that class in an idiot.
so like i've been working and not producing anthing for 4 hours and it's april and there's no time to waste 4 hours in april. and since i've been reading so much about catholic saints for the past two days i might as well ask saint jude to help me with this fucking project because he is the patron saint of desperate situations and impossible causes.
and for dinner they made SALAD and WATERY TASTELESS NON NUTRITIVE SOUP and VEEEEEEEGAN BANANA PUDDING. oh sorry, i didn't know i was on the proteinless 200 hundred calorie a day diet. so now i'm starving because i ate flavored air and water for dinner and i have to go home before i pass out and not get any work done at all.
dear saint jude,
please please help me find non web resources for my project. some images would be nice too. i'd really like to make a powerpoint presentation. they just look so... official. in jesus' name, amen.
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| Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
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6:18 pm - THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER READ
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i just got this email from someone at lester (the co-op that my house boards at)
subject: chips warning
please note that the chips we bought this week have whey on them, they are NOT VEGAN. we probably shouldn't buy this flavor again.
OH MY GOD THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE. I'M SO GLAD I JUST WASTED 2 SECONDS OF MY LIFE READING THAT STUPID EMAIL. ARE YOU SURE WE SHOULDN'T CALL THE POLICE?? THE WHEY POLICE????? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING ME.
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| Thursday, March 31st, 2005
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2:51 pm - I TALKED TO A MOVIE STAR
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GOD LINDSAY TURN DOWN YOUR BAD MUSIC
if i can understand the words of the song from downstairs, it's probably too loud
so i told my swedish teacher that i was gay and wanted a swedish husband and she told me about this blog by this guy from the US who got married to this swedish guy and he writes stuff
the address of it is: http://francisstrand.blogspot.com/
so i emailed him this: subject: you're famous at U of M
Hej,
I'm a college student at University of Michigan and I'm taking Swedish. I told
my Swedish teacher that I wanted to move to Sweden and asked her if I could get
residence through a same sex relationship and she said yes and sent me to your
weblog. Just a funny story that I thought I would share. =)
Hejdå
Josh
and then he emailed me back!!
Hej Josh -
Yowza! Famous in Ann Arbor, my birthplace, or famous among Swedish
teachers in Ann Arbor at least... it's a small world after all (or is
that "it's a Duff world after all"?)
Good luck with the Swedish - you'll need it, no doubt. Although if you
can get the pronunciation down, the rest isn't so hard, not really.
Cheers -
Francis
I don't know what it is, but people in sweden LOVE the simpsons. when the swedish high school students came to ann arbor, they kept talking about the simpsons. and they talk about the simpsons to us online too. and then this guy with the simpsons. simpsons simpsons simpsons.
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